Sunday, May 16, 2010

What's a girl to do?

When I started posting some of the miserable list, I gave you a glimpse into my real sense of humor.  Turns out Amora's not really sunshine and roses, well not all the times anyway, and her sense of humor is...shall we say...twisted a little.  Those lists just made me laugh. 

Today I'm going to share something else my bad self finds funny.  This one's from a book called OMG! How to Survive 101 of Life's Most F-ed Situations.  I love this book.  Way to funny.  It's full of things like...

WTF do you do when...

Your boyfriend has been posting pictures of his penis online
Your wasted BFF is about to leave with a walking STD
A hot guy wants to take you home, but you didn't shave

And many, many more useful tips we all just really really need.  Because seriously, who knows how to properly deal with that boyfriend and his penis?  I sure don't.

So.  For our first WTF do we do post, I've chosen a very helpful topic.  I'm going with...

WTF do you do when...

You're mistaken for a prostitute...

That's right, a prostitute.  Your standing on a street corner, minding your own business.  Suddenly, a car pulls up next to you and a nerdy middle-aged man asks you "How much to like the lollipop sweetheart?"

OMG, he thinks you're a hooker.

So, WTF do you do?

It's ok.  You've got options.

#1:  Find out how much he's willing to pay-  Not really. I do NOT want you getting paid to fornicate.  But, since he asked you first, he can't be a cop, that would be entrapment.  So you might as well find out how much your worth!

#2:  Tell him he's on "To Catch a Predator"- Yell "Surprise" and point to a storefront window.  Let him know this has all been camera and will be on the next NBC special.  Inform him that the SWAT team is waiting around the corner to drag him out of his car, throw him on the pavement face first and cuff him.  Then watch that sucker burn rubber!

#3:  Write down his license plate number:  Contact DMV and get his phone number.  Call his wife and ruin his life.  Tell her he tried to pick you up for sex but you told him you had crabs.

Got all that?  You never know when you'll need that advise, so hold on to it.

We'll see what kind of great advise I can come up with next time.


See ya!


  1. LOL!

    How about this:

    Tell him that you suppose you could since the doctor says you shouldn't be contagious since you've been on the antibiotics for a few days now.

  2. Perfect! lil'bastards.

    LOL. You should see some of what's in this book. Cracks me up!

    have a great day! :)

  3. I a bit behind but just read this and LOL very funny will have to check book out :) Thanks for the smiles I was needed some today :)


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