We're just going to kick back this week. Whatever shall be shall be. I'm actually to worn out to blather on and on, but I did manage to come across a couple of things last night that made me giggle, so I thought I'd just share those.
Giggle giggle ;)
A facebook status update. WTF?
A google autocomplete that just made me laugh.
Um, yeah. What?
My daughter sends me these. Some just crack me up.
tsk. tsk. I've been so remiss. Hardly any blog posts over here this week. I've been so darned busy, I just have not had a spare minute at all! I do however have an awful lot of coolness over at the Place, so, you forgive me right? Oh yeah, and don't forget to check out...
When I started posting some of the miserable list, I gave you a glimpse into my real sense of humor. Turns out Amora's not really sunshine and roses, well not all the times anyway, and her sense of humor is...shall we say...twisted a little. Those lists just made me laugh.
Today I'm going to share something else my bad self finds funny. This one's from a book called OMG! How to Survive 101 of Life's Most F-ed Situations. I love this book. Way to funny. It's full of things like...
WTF do you do when...
Your boyfriend has been posting pictures of his penis online
Your wasted BFF is about to leave with a walking STD
A hot guy wants to take you home, but you didn't shave
And many, many more useful tips we all just really really need. Because seriously, who knows how to properly deal with that boyfriend and his penis? I sure don't.
So. For our first WTF do we do post, I've chosen a very helpful topic. I'm going with...
WTF do you do when...
You're mistaken for a prostitute...
That's right, a prostitute. Your standing on a street corner, minding your own business. Suddenly, a car pulls up next to you and a nerdy middle-aged man asks you "How much to like the lollipop sweetheart?"
OMG, he thinks you're a hooker.
So, WTF do you do?
It's ok. You've got options.
#1: Find out how much he's willing to pay- Not really. I do NOT want you getting paid to fornicate. But, since he asked you first, he can't be a cop, that would be entrapment. So you might as well find out how much your worth!
#2: Tell him he's on "To Catch a Predator"- Yell "Surprise" and point to a storefront window. Let him know this has all been camera and will be on the next NBC special. Inform him that the SWAT team is waiting around the corner to drag him out of his car, throw him on the pavement face first and cuff him. Then watch that sucker burn rubber!
#3: Write down his license plate number: Contact DMV and get his phone number. Call his wife and ruin his life. Tell her he tried to pick you up for sex but you told him you had crabs.
Got all that? You never know when you'll need that advise, so hold on to it.
We'll see what kind of great advise I can come up with next time.
I like the little miserable list at the place the last couple of days. I know I'm supposed to think happy thoughts when I'm down. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. Sometimes that feels a bit like my mother telling me to eat my brussel sprouts because there are starving children in Africa.
"Well send them my friggin' brussel sprouts!"
And yes, sometimes the birds need to shut the hell up too. Aren't I a ray of sunshine?
Sometimes though, when flowers, sunshine and birds don't work, I go for whatever twisted thing just makes me laugh. Whatever works. The list...has been working, so we're list-ing on.
I don't like the miserable name though, so I'm changing it. How about "Things that make me happy...as long as they aren't happening to me!" hee hee. We could just go with "Things that really suck", but I'm trying to put the word happy in there somewhere...sounds less negative. *grins* ;)
22. Milli Vanilli
23. Double chins
24. Your children criticizing your cooking
26. Commercials about prostate enlargement
27. Your 40th birthday
28. Toxic Mold
30. Jock itch
31. Exploding manhole covers
How bad to those things suck?! I never want to hear "Duck and cover! Exploding manhole covers!" You know that'd be a bad day.
I am very happy I don't have these things today. It's all good.
Yeah, I know it's silly, but how much have I coveted this little goody? I've seen it on other blogs, and I wanted one. LOL. It didn't quite work out that way.
I took their silly little test. LOL. Go on, guess what they rated me? G. yeah, G. Really? I'm not after a G rated playground.
I tried and tried. Ha! Even made special posts of foulness to trick it. All I could get up to was...PG13. Yeah. Still not it.
YAY! Finally! It's official, I'm rated R. Silly? Yes. I don't care. I like it!!!!
Now if I could just get one for Amora's Place. It's rated G too. I guess I could just use this one, but I want it to be rated R too. Why? 'cause my blogs will NOT be rated G, and also, and most of all...
'cause R is for rocks, and what? That's right. My blog ROCKS!!!
Ahhhhh. This is sooo me now. There is no Monday Mayhem today. In fact, today's game is...there IS NO Monday. Quite frankly, I don't have the energy. So, no upcoming schedules this week on the playground.
Actually, we may not have them here ever again. We'll see. It's hard to play when you're thinking schedules. They don't mix for me. So this week, here's what we're going to do.
Whatever we want.
How's that sound? Good I hope, because that's what it is...mostly. I've still got a video going Wednesday. A hot Queer as Folk one I had. And I've still got the Saturday yummies covered. LOL. What's it say about me that those are the only ones I'm still scheduling?
Don't answer that. ;)
Everything else? Whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. Truth is, I've got all kinds of goodies to play with, I'm just too tired to figure out what they are right now. LOL. We're going to have a fun yet relaxing week at the Playground, with uber hottness thrown in of course.
Enjoy your week guys. I'll surprise you with some playthings, I promise.